In my heart…

Yesterday was the eighth anniversary of my mother’s death. Though eight years later I still feel like there are not enough words to describe or even begin to convey how I felt about her passing or how I feel today, I will say that I am so completely thankful that I can still remember every inch of her face, her body, her hands, her smell, her touch, her voice… Oh her voice… As if she were next to me, speaking to me right this second. I am thankful that my memory hasn’t failed me because one of my greatest fears is that I will forget. That I will slowly forget what it was like to have her physically with me. I don’t want her to ever be just a distant memory. To fade away. I want, I am holding on so tightly to every memory of her within my heart. I want to squeeze every moment of my life that was with her into my heart, keep it there and not let any of it spill out…

I miss her terribly and till today I still and probably always will wonder what kind of friend she would be to me… I already know her as a mother, a fantastic one at that, but we were only just becoming friends… That is my one regret, that I never got to have her as a friend.

Twenty nine

Happy birthday to me! Twenty nine and feeling fabulous! I’m lying in bed and the first thing that springs to mind is not that I’ve hit the very last year of my beloved twenties, but that my mum is not here with me… And that she hasn’t been here with me for my past eight birthdays…

Somehow on special occassions I always allow myself to wallow for a couple of minutes before I remind myself that the fact that she is no longer with us is completely out of my control. And her control for that matter. I am positively sure that she would’ve loved to be here with me today shaking her head in absolute disbelief that her youngest daughter has just turned twenty-friggen-nine.

And after that, it’s time to celebrate… And enjoy my day. Good night! In a few hours I will wake up facing the countdown to thirty… Bring it on :)

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all beautiful, loving, caring, doting mums out there… the day is yours and no one else’s!

We are off to a Mother’s Day BBQ at Marc’s brother’s house… I love family gatherings. I love catching up with family. Funny how as I’m getting ‘older’ that I’m realising just how much family means to me. They are such a huge part of my life…

I know so many great mothers around me… but the greatest one of all cannot be with me today in body – but always, always in spirit.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day…

When in Rome

Watched this with the girlies tonight and had a good laugh. Funny how you’re so used to seeing an actress as one character and nobody else. Kristen Bell? Who? Oh, you mean Veronica Mars! She was beautiful though… and wore the loveliest wedding dress in the movie. Josh Duhamel? Not so sure about him. Kind of cute. Love the height. Love the hands, he had very nice hands. But there’s just something about him that’s a little… cheesy. Maybe because he had a few cheesy lines. Nevertheless, your typical romantic comedy… just my type!

The girls and I had dinner at T.G.I. Fridays before the movie. How fitting.

Happy weekend, all!

Loving my Saturdays

How comfy does this bed look… I know brick walls aren’t many people’s cup of tea, but it certainly is mine. I think if I had the opportunity, I could make an old ugly brick wall look pretty. Like this one. Minus the bed, the beautiful lamps and the chandelier, I’m sure the wall would look completely horrible. But little touches can transform everything. The magic of creativity and a little bit of love.

Have I told you how much I’ve been loving my Saturdays? Out of all the days in the week, Saturday is MY day. Marc has been a little busy bee and has been working pretty much every Saturday since Christmas. So I’m left by myself to catch up on everything that I haven’t had the chance to do during the week. It usually starts out with a bit of a sleep in… how much I love my sleep deserves a whole post on its own. That’s how much. My sleep ins don’t last long, damn the body clock, so I usually wake up around 8.30… kind of wander around the house in a daze… check out what’s on morning TV or what I’ve got recorded on my IQ… usually watch about half hour of whatever I’ve recorded, or if I don’t have anything, I just kind of sit on my couch with a cup of coffee and revel in the quietness and peacefulness of my house, usually staring out the window. I love quiet Saturday mornings.

Then it’s on to business. If the house is exceptionally untidy or dirty, I do a huge clean which could take me at least two hours. That includes dusting, vacuuming,  mopping, general tidying of books, paperwork, clothes, whatever… then I do the shower and the toilet (hopefully Marc would’ve already been one step ahead of me and done this by the weekend – he’s good like that!) and most likely two loads of laundry. We always, always leave our laundry to the last minute like when we’re pretty much down to our last pair of underwear!

After the cleaning of the house, I head out to do the grocery shopping… whatever we need for the weekend or even the week. After grocery shopping, I come home and just laze around the house for a little until which time it’s probably lunch time and I either catch up with a girlfriend(s) or if none are available, then it’s by my lonesome self… which really I don’t mind at all. I treasure my own personal time with myself. Honestly. Some people hate being alone and always feel the constant need to surround themselves with people… and that not a bad thing at all, but I can tell you I’m not one of those people. I like a bit of solitude now and again.

So today, it’s one of those joyous Saturdays where I’ve got every ‘household chore’ done before midday and now it’s time to lunch with a girlfriend at Poyntons. A beautiful nursery with a cafe attached right by the river! It’s lovely on a sunny day like today.

Enjoy the Anzac long weekend and let’s all remember our soldiers – of yesterday and today.