Lessons in life

It is so true what they say about how much you can learn from others. Sometimes all you need is someone else’s perspective to give you a little more perspective. I feel like I’ve learnt a lot more from the people around me this week than I ever have.

One of those learning experiences occurred this morning. But before I go on to that, I have to explain this for it to make sense – we’ve been extremely busy at work – in fact, hard to believe but we’ve got more work than we have capacity to complete the work. Yesterday, our manager called us all into a meeting and announced that they were going to run an incentive plan over the next couple of weeks – bottom line, we get paid a shit load to do the extra work, and that means late nights, 12 – 14 hour days plus weekends.

I love a good monetary incentive scheme. I know money isn’t everything and I truly believe that – but if you need the money – to help with a mortgage, to feed the family, so your kid can go to that expensive school camp – whatever it may be, extra money is always awesome. Needless to say I felt extremely interested in the incentive and considered participating. I could do with the money (weddings don’t come cheap!) and I love a good challenge.

But. I struggled to make the decision. Next week is my last working week before we fly to Malaysia to get married! This incentive has come at such a bad time for me – a time where I don’t have the extra time to work all those extra hours at the office or weekends. We still have so much to think about and to do before we fly off. Do I go ahead and do the incentive, work crazy hours, finalise plans for our wedding, run on little to no sleep, deal with wedding dramas and the added pressure at work? Or do I just take it easy over the next week or so? Relax my mind and rest my body before our big two weeks in Malaysia?

In the end I decided that I was not going to participate. The money, whilst good, isn’t everything. I went into work with the mindset that I was going to pass on the incentive but I was still unsure. A part of me still thought that I was making the wrong decision. But when I told my manager that I wasn’t going to participate, he was extremely supportive and then he said, “It’s completely okay. Put your marriage first. It’s a priority”. And that? That hit me. I had one of those moments where I realised that deep down I knew I was putting my well being and relationship first but it wasn’t until he said those words – put your marriage first – that I realised exactly what I was doing. I was doing just that. And it all reminded me just what a huge leap marriage is in life. You decide to get married and you exchange vows that you will need to stick to for the rest of your life no matter the circumstances. For better or worse. It reminded me of the importance of our relationship. Our soon to be marriage. And how from now on in? We are each other’s priority always.

I like learning from others. I like it when someone shows me something in a different light. I like it when someone makes me think about something that may never have crossed my mind.

Sometimes…

I wish I weren’t so sensitive… That way, when someone close to me annoys me in a manner that just leaves me unable to understand or comprehend their actions, I don’t feel hurt or angry. I simply just won’t care. If only…

Blue skies & fresh flowers

Hi lovelies, how was everyone’s weekends? Mine was quite lovely. As you can tell, we had some beautiful weather this past weekend and we saw blue skies longer than we thought we would have them, but whatever blue skies we get, we’ll take!

We were having some friends over for dinner last night, so naturally I felt the need to go overboard on the cleaning – I dusted, vacuumed, mopped, tidied, rearranged – everything. Then I realised something was missing – fresh flowers. There’s nothing more I love than a clean home and fresh flowers to brighten up a kitchen or a living room.

I walked up to our local milk bar who’ve started selling fresh flowers some months ago now, and I swear I will never buy fresh flowers from them again. It was a rip off quite honestly and when the old Italian guy running the milk bar told me how much the flowers were, I just about died. I actually asked him to repeat himself in hopes that I might’ve heard him wrong. I didn’t. It was really that expensive and that ridiculous.

I struggled to start my Monday this morning. Today was one of those days – where I wanted to be anywhere but work – mind you, I don’t have these days often at all at this job – but today was such a blah day for me. The upside though? I was sitting on the train on my way into work and of course, I was thinking about the wedding – I checked out my photographer’s website to see if he had any new slideshows on his site of weddings he’d photograph and he did! It was a wedding he photographed a couple of weeks ago. I watched the slideshow on my way into work and it lit that fire inside of me – as of today, I am officially, 100% excited about our wedding day! Of course I had felt excitement in the past too but it was also normally coupled with stress, anxiousness and nerves. I felt different today – I felt just plain excitement to see how the day will unfold and to marry my boy :)

Funnily enough, I feel satisfied and content as to how things are progressing in these final weeks… I’ve gotten as much as I can and as much as I needed done. I did realise something major on the weekend – everything to do with our wedding preparation up till today has gone pretty smoothly and well. We haven’t had any stuff ups or any major blow ups – everything has worked out well so far, we’ve managed to get what we want the way we want it. And though I thought that we’ve been lucky to have it all go so well, I realised that it’s hugely because I’ve put a ton of hard work into organising and preparing everything! My time management skills and organisational skills have certainly been put to good use.

I remember about 12 months ago when I spoke to my manager about taking some time off to get married – he said to me that the following year was going to be a huge test for me. To be able to plan a wedding long distance, to juggle life and work at the same time – that was going to present a huge challenge to me. And he said that whether I would come out the other end ‘alive’ would say a lot about me. No pressure!

Well, we’re so close to the finish line now… I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We’ve made it around the twist and turns of this journey and soon it’ll come and go… Today and tomorrow and the day after and so on, I just want to cherish these last few weeks before my wedding day. I will never again be a ‘single’ person… And that my friends, is a huge thing.

Wedding update

I feel like I blog a lot about my wedding these days! Sorry if it bores some of you, but the one thing I love about having a blog? Is that I get to read my old posts months later and truly remember exactly what happened, how it happened, what and how I felt!

Well, I thought this weekend would be pretty low key for us, but it hasn’t turned out that way. We still have a few things to pick up for the wedding before we fly out in 2 weeks so we’re going to try and get them done today. Oh and you should see the lists I have started making so that I don’t forget to pack anything for the wedding… It’s getting a little insane, I’m a little over checklists but it helps so I’m gonna have to stick with it.

We are also helping a friend celebrate turning 30 tonight which should be good fun. And sometime this weekend I’ve got to sit down and respond to about a million emails to do with the wedding… The bulk of my venue has been sorted but there are just a few details that need to be finalised.

I’ve had trouble sleeping the last couple of nights (surprise, surprise!) as the wedding just keeps me up. I wouldn’t call it stress – just, I don’t know… Random wedding thoughts running through my head constantly. My mind just won’t shut down!

All I can say is that thank heavens we have a few days in Thailand after our wedding. Uh, I’m going to be needing that! I haven’t posted about our plans after the wedding so I may do that in a different post!

So reality of the wedding being so, so close now has started to sink in over the past 48 hours… I’m not particularly freaking out – a little nervous, yes, but moreso I just want everything to go smoothly. I’m also a little tired of making decisions (there’s still a few minor ones to make). I know that something is bound to not go right on the day – as my cousin so dearly said to me – at the end of the day whatever doesn’t go right on the day, does not matter at all. I’m there to marry my soul mate which is all that really matters. I hope I remember that in the midst of fluster, butterflies and excitement :)

These days…

I took this photo while waiting for Marc in the city last Friday. I love taking photos with my iPhone. I don’t have to carry a camera wherever I go, it’s on my phone and it’s not bad for a phone camera. I love looking around and seeing photo opportunities. Mind you, I never ever did this two, three, four years ago. The excitement and satisfaction of taking a good photo has slowly made its way into my life over the last 18 months.

I haven’t had much time to blog lately… We are four weeks out from our wedding and I’m feeling it! There are many things to finalise and it is all coming together… Slowly but surely.

We picked up our rings last Friday along with Marc’s wedding suit… I’m so happy with both of them :) You never really know what the end product will be until you see it in front of you. And I couldn’t be happier! I always knew the rings were going to be beautiful but the suit? I was a little nervous. It is a complete tailored suit and as easy as it sounds to choose colours off swatches of fabric, it really isn’t. At the time we were choosing fabric and colours, it didn’t take us too long at all as I already knew in my mind the colour I wanted Marc to be in on our wedding day. But still, after picking the colour and it was sent off to be made – the weeks we waited made me so nervous! What if it’s the wrong colour? What if it doesn’t match his skin tone? What if the light made it look right at the time but it’s going to be so different in the daylight? What if?! But as soon as Marc put the final product on, I knew we’d made the right choice! Huzzah!

Marc and his closest friends celebrated his buck’s weekend this past weekend. Yep, they no longer celebrate buck’s nights. It is now an entire weekend. How that came about I have no idea! Seeing that it will be his last chance to party up big as a ‘single’ man, I really didn’t mind that he was making a weekend out of it and that it was interstate… Yes, surely I get brownie-fiancée points there! So him and his mates made their way up to Brisbane over the weekend and as far as I know, had a great time.

I was left to my own devices which included playtime with the niece and nephew. Little niece kept asking for Uncle Marc which was super cute. Despite my attempt to explain to a two year old that Uncle Marc’s in Brisbane with his friends, she kept up with “I want to see Uncle Marcus…” in the saddest of voices. Aww. It’s so wonderful to be able to witness special bonds in our everyday lives.

I also managed some girl time with my girlfriends… A little bit of dog-drooling – a girlfriend of mine just bought a groodle – golden retriever/poodle – who is just the cutest thing. We also managed to hit the movies and have breakfast all on the one weekend :)

This week and the weeks to come will see more wedding finalising happening. At this point I’m just hoping that everything falls into place and I don’t have to worry about much the week before my wedding. I am aiming to be a stress-free bride. Is that possible?!

My hen’s night

My long awaited hen’s party post is here – finally! As you can see, my blogging has been a little slack this week – completely my bad, I have no excuses!

So, last weekend was my one and only hen’s party. A day I was so looking forward to for weeks and a day I was extremely nervous for! Why would I be nervous, I hear you lovelies ask. Well, here’s a couple of reasons – one, I had no input in the planning of this day/night. I, the control freak, left it all to my trusty bridesmaids to organise my hen’s because it’s tradition that they do and because I knew they were going to do an awesome job of it. Which they did, but more on that in a second!

Two, I don’t drink very often at all. In fact, quite rarely. I can safely say that my ‘drinking days’ are over and it’s very likely that I almost always play the designated driver card now. Which is more than fine by me! Honestly not drinking doesn’t even phase me anymore – I manage to always have fun without having to be drunk, I love waking up fresh the next day with no hangover and I really don’t need all those extra calories! So yes, I don’t drink much anymore and I knew my girlfriends were going to try and get me as drunk as possible on my hen’s night which made me a little nervous :)

So back to the day. We started off with an afternoon high tea at Koko Black in the city. I had no idea they hosted high teas, but they do! And it was fabulous! I had about twenty five of my closest girlfriends/cousin/future mother-in-law and future sister-in-law turn up which was a nice and intimate number. At the high tea, everyone had the chance to get to know each other as well as dine on some of the nicest sweets, deserts, savoury bites, champagne and chocolate/coffee drinks.

After the high tea, we headed to a penthouse apartment which my bridesmaids booked for the night. It was an amazing two bedroom apartment with the most beautiful views of Melbourne city. Floor to ceiling windows on the 10th floor gave us some spectacular views :)

At the apartment, my bridesmaids brought out more drinks and food and the night was slowly getting started. By then, almost everyone knew each other’s names and were getting along very well. We talked, laughed, gasped at the goody bags my bridesmaids cleverly organised which may or may not have included hand cuffs :)

As the evening went on, we starter to play a few traditional hen’s games. Some of them included a ‘How well do you know the bride’ game where my girlfriends had to answer questions about myself. I also had to answer questions about Marc to see how well I knew him. It was a good test and I learnt that if he could be a super hero, he’d be superman! I didn’t know that about him. Hah! We also played ‘pin the penis’ on Marcus. Where we had a giant photo of Marcus in the wall and well… We had to try and pin it on correctly.

All of a sudden, I saw the apartment lights dim and the music turned off. Now, over the few weeks when my bridesmaids were doing all the planning, I had a fair idea that they were going to ensure there was ‘special entertainment’ involved seeing that we were, after all, celebrating a hen’s night. I had no qualms about having a male stripper at my party – I just hope and prayed that it was a tasteful performance. You wouldn’t believe the number of hen’s parties I’ve been too where the male strippers were just – gross.

So yes, after a minute or two in the dimly lit apartment, the front door flies open and in walks this dude in an FBI uniform! It was extremely hilarious. He started the ‘stripper music’ and everyone pretty much started either laughing or screaming. I could not stop laughing. Even though I expected it and it was really no surprise, I just could not believe that this guy just walked into the room and started ripping off his FBI uniform. He was actually pretty cute and he walked over to me to introduce himself. I did not expect him to actually introduce himself! But then again, I had never had a stripper perform for me before so I really didn’t have an idea of what to expect. So, he did his entire performance in about 15 or 20 minutes and all I can say is that it was a hoot, so funny, and so entertaining! It was also thankfully very tasteful and what I liked most about him and his performance was that he also went up to the other girls and showed them attention. Although I had most of his attention, some of the other girls also did which I was glad for!

After the ‘special entertainment’ left, everyone was pretty revved up by then and I was also extremely drunk by then! I am a one hundred percent happy drunk so I was certainly laughing a lot and talking a lot! We played more games, had more jelly shots and also said goodbye to a few friends who had to leave.

Later that night, my bridesmaids, sister and a few other girls who were still left behind with us headed out into the city to a couple of bars. They of course made me wear a veil with flashing lights stating ‘bride to be’ and I had to wear various ‘bride to be’ / ‘hen’s party’ sashes around my body. All brought the unnecessary and unwanted attention to me by random strangers, all of whom were lovely enough to wish me hearty congratulations! Someone actually yelled out ‘stay single!’ which I laughed at. And we also ran into a few guys on a buck’s party who wanted to take photos with us. All so random but made for a good night.

We danced the remaining night away and I turned down a couple of shots as I knew that one shot was going to tip me over the edge and someone would have to carry me home. In the end, my feet had enough and we walked home to our apartment to call it a night but not before watching an hour of Bridesmaids on DVD :)

Wow, what a fantastic night it was. I said on Facebook that my hen’s day/night was one of the best days of my life and it truly was. Everyone near and dear to me who I wanted to turn up, turned up for me and it really made my heart smile. Like happy, ear to ear smile. I celebrated a wonderful day with people who mean the world to me and who made it all so much fun. The one big thing I took away from last weekend was the realisation that I have one hell of a group of girlfriends. I can’t tell you how amazing that makes me feel. The girls who turned up last weekend all groups of girlfriends from different parts of my life – there are my besties from high school in Australia, there are my girlfriends from high school in Malaysia, there are girls whom I used to work with and girls I work with now and then there are girls who are the wives/girlfriends of Marc’s mates. They are all girls whom I consider myself lucky to have a friends. And though there were several different groups of girls at the party, they all came together so willingly to celebrate me and they all got along like houses on fire.

After the day and night had come and gone, I received endless text messages from different girls saying just how wonderful and lovely my other friends were… And that really made me so proud of my girlfriends. All of them. And the truly satisfying thing for me? Is knowing just how much my friends reflect me as a person…